Nnamdi Kanu mounts the witness box, clad in Jewish attire, wearing a muffler on his neck and a small white cap and with a staff of authority).Prosecution Counsel: My Lord, Nnamdi Kanu should dress properly.
Nnamdi Kanu’s Counsel:My Lord, I humbly request your permission for my client to give explanations
about his attire in court.
Judge: Permission granted.
Nnamdi Kanu’s Counsel: Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, could you please explain to His Lordship and this Honorable
Court the reasons for your attire to court.
Nnamdi Kanu: Your Lordship, this attire is not ordinary. It is symbolic and has a spiritual import and Anointing, and represents the twelve pillars of the ancient Jewish temple from heaven. Besides, I am a direct descendant of Abraham. There are many ways to differentiate the children of Abraham and direct descendants of Abraham.
Judge: Stop it there, Mr. Mazi Nnamdi Kanu. We have no time now to listen further to your spiritual lecture. It will soon be dawn and I don’t want the wahala of Aba boys who will fill this court premises once they know you are here. Please let the argument about clothes stop and let the Court Clerk read out the charges against Mazi Nnamdi Kanu.
Court Clerk: 1. That you, Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, is planning to create another Republic in a Republic thereby committing an offence under Chapter 1, section 10, sub section 2 (3) of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria..
2. That you, Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, is planning to use force to overthrow the Federal Government of Nigeria thereby committing an offence under Chapter 1, section 10, sub section 2 (4) of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria..
3. That you, Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, through your activities, has made South East Governors afraid to travel outside the country for fear of receiving the German Iri-ji treatment contrary to the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Chapter 19, section 18, sub section 8.
4. That you, Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, has constituted an advance panel to try the five South East Governors, even when the Republic of Biafra is yet to be created contrary to the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Chapter 42, section 22, sub section 5.
5. That you, Mazi Nnamdi Kanu escaped from the country without an international passport and hid yourself in one country once you were out, and thereafter your followers claimed you had been killed by Nigerian soldies thereby committing an offence under Chapter 17,section 24, sub section 12 (3) of the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
6. That you, Mazi Nnamdi Kanu has appointed administrators to take over from the South East Governors even when there is no Republic of Biafra yet, contrary to the Constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Chapter 18, section 15, sub section 8.
Court Clerk: Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, are you guilty or not as charged?
Mazi Nnamdi Kanu: Not guilty my Lord.
Judge: (Becomes jittery, sips from a cup of cold water on his table, looks around the court room and asks
nobody in particular: I hope there are enough security men here. Prosecution Counsel, let’s start from you. Tell this Honorable court how Nnamdi Kanu planned to overthrow the government, because we all know that to overthrow any government, you must have the military and the weapons. Where are his military and where are his weapons?
Prosecution Counsel: IPOB of course, my Lord.
Judge: You mean the proscribed IPOB?
Prosecution Counsel: My Lord, whether proscribed or not, IPOB boys are even stronger than all the Jewish soldiers put together. IPOB is an awful experience and that was why Kanu’s brother governors quickly proscribed it, before the Federal government did same.
Judge: I see. Then where are the weapons – the armoured cars, guns and other military equipment needed to perfect a coup d’etat?
Prosecution Counsel: My Lord, he has no such materials but he has one thing going for him and that is the Ogbunigwe, used by Ajukwu during the Biafran war.
Judge: Better say Ojukwu, it is not Ajukwu. So, where is the Ogbunigwe?
Prosecution Counsel: His mouth, my Lord.
Judge: Counsel, please we are not here for jokes. Otherwise I will take action you will not like against you. I ask you again, where is the so called Ogbunigwe packed?
Prosecution Counsel: Your Lordship Sir, his mouth is more dangerous than Ogbunigwe. His mouth is not ordinary Sir. It is poisonous.
Judge: You said IPOB is like a military. What did he use to train the IPOB?
Prosecution Counsel: The same mouth my Lord. My Lord, his mouth is very deadly. Even a thousand tubes of toothpaste cannot wash off the venom in his mouth. Only a special padlock to lock his mouth can solve the problem.
Judge: Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, you are accused of trying to create another Republic in Nigeria. Have you read books on the Civil war like ‘My Command’ by Obasanjo and another one by Adeboyega titled ‘Because I Was Involved’ or ‘Never Again’ by Dr. Osita Nwosu? You should be careful not to play with a snake because a snake is not a rope for people to toy with. I hope you understand?
Nnamdi Kanu: Your worship, I have read all the books you mentioned. I have also read ‘The Military and Oil Politics’ as well as ‘There was a Country’ by Chinua Achebe’ and I found out that Igbos are not treated as Nigerians. Your Lordship, forget what the Prosecution Counsel is saying. Everything is not war. A group of people is asking for their right to pull out from a union called Nigeria which can be done without shedding even a pint of blood.
Judge: Do you realize that mere muting the idea of Biafra is considered treasonable?
Nnamdi Kanu: My Lord how can that be when I don’t have any guns or weapons. Look at the way the Fulani nomads are moving up and down in my place with sophisticated weapons, kidnapping and killing people reckless and anybody thinks my people can stomach it any longer.
Prosecution Counsel: Your Lordship, that is why I always blame this young man. There is Federal character law in this country. There is no part of the country the Fulani have not visited including Sokoto and Katsina, the home of the caliphate and the president respectively. Are these regions asking for another country?
Judge: Mazi Nnamdi Kanu, do you have anything to say on this?
Mazi Nnamdi Kanu: My Lord, just as you asked the counsel, nobody has ever seen me with any military equipment including a gun. Same with IPOB members. We are only agitating for a Republic of Biafra because things are going wrong. If things are not going wrong, I would not be agitating for an independent Republic of Biafra. And we have nobody to speak for us. The Igbo governors and other so-called Igbo leaders are all dumb. Look at the recent Federal government 22 billion dollars loan.
All the geo-political zones in the country are listed to share in the loan except South East. Before then, every zone in the country and even some neighboring countries benefited from the national Rail line project except South East.
The South East has never produced a president and currently, South East has no position in the Nigerian leadership – no president, no vice-president, no Secretary to the Federal government, no Senate president, no deputy Senate president, no Speaker of House of Reps, no deputy speaker, no service chief, no IG of police, no deputy IG….
Prosecution Counsel: Your Lordship, I raise an objection. If you allow this man to continue, he will use the same mouth to confuse your Lordship and this Honourable court.
Judge: Witness, please conclude your submission.
Nnamdi Kanu: Yes my Lord. What I am saying is that
In 2002, during the crisis between the Natives and Hausa/Fulani, many Igbos lost their lives, billions of naira in cash and properties, even though they were not part of the crisis.
Prosecution Counsel: Your Lordship, I raise an objection once again. This man’s mouth is…..
Judge: Yes, Counsel, I can now see what you are saying. Not that he has a bad mouth but that he has a sweet tongue.
Prosecution Counsel: Your Lordship, what of travelling outside the country without any international passport and his followers claiming that he was killed by the egwu –eke soldiers. If he was actually killed, why is he here in court, which means that he is another Jibril. Dr. Orji Uzor Kalu can tell us more on this.
Judge: Who is Dr. Orji Uzor Kalu?
Prosecution Counsel: The current Chief Whip of the Nigerian Senate, my Lord.
Judge: Where is he now?
Prosecution Counsel: He went on a visit to Kuje world.
Judge: Which means that we shall adjourn sitting until he comes back.
Prosecution Counsel: No your Lordship. He went on a long journey and may not come until years after you must have retired.
Judge: Then I suggest we move this sitting to Kuje.
Prosecution Counsel: Your Lordship, nobody is allowed to enter Kuje without permission from their President. Kuje is in a different world. They have their own President. The best thing is to send a message across to Kalu in advance. But let me first make inquiries when he will be chanced to see us as I have been informed that he is always busy lately.
Judge: Busy? In the prison yard? How do you mean?
Prosecution Counsel: Your Lordship, the reason is that he is contesting for governorship election.
Judge: Contesting for governorship election in the prison yard? What are you saying?
Prosecution Counsel: Yes your Lordship. In Kuje, they have their own president. They have governors and all what not. Orji Kalu is contesting for the governorship of Area B in Kuje prison with Evans.
Judge: But Orji Uzor Kalu is new in Kuje. Does he have supporters?
Prosecution Counsel: He has your Lordship. Two former governors were there before him. They are the former governor of Taraba state, Jolly Nyame, and former Jigawa governor, Saminu Turaki who is his chief campaign manager while Wadume is chief campaign manager for Evans
Judge: How can we send the message?
Prosecution Counsel: We can contact the prospective visitors to Kuje in the persons of Chief Theodore Orji, the former governor of Abia State and his son, the current Speaker of Abia State House of Assembly.
Judge: When are they due to make the visit.
Prosecution Counsel: Any moment from now your Lordship. I will find out the exact date from Magu.
Judge: In that case, until you find out, this case stands adjourned sine die.